Friday, September 28, 2007

Signs

For a while now I've had two things on my mind....travel and babies. I know, two completely different things. I am a Gemini, I multi-task and multi-think.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I love, love, love to travel. I have a list of places I must visit before I die. Greece topping the list. Just the other night I was watching a show on the Travel Channel called "Samantha Brown's Passport to Latin America" or something like that. This particular show was her trip to Machu Picchu in Peru. I sat there thinking, man she's got a great job. I'd love to be there! The next day at work my phone rang when I was away from my desk, so I grabbed it from the phone in the copy room as it was the closest phone to me. As I talked I looked up and there in front of me is a travel calendar that someone put up and I'm looking at a picture of Machu Picchu! I was talking to my friend and co-worker, Katherine, at the time and told her this had to be a sign that I needed to add Machu Picchu to my list of places to see. She agreed and said she wanted to go with me but then retracted saying she would babysit for me (because she knows about my baby desires --more on that in a sec). I told her she could go with me because I've got plenty of family to babysit and Michelle owes me some big time babysitting anyway.

Now, onto the baby thing.

Being the age that I am (38, but looking much younger!), I am constantly thinking about how I want to be a mother. I would love to meet the man God has intended for me, fall in love and have children, but I'm not sure what kind of working order my eggs are in, so if I want to birth me some babies, the man, the courtship and marriage needs to happen fairly quickly. Now, my sisters (Michelle and Christy) are obviously fertile. Jamie probably is too but she better have finished college and secured a teaching job before we find out! Our mother had Jamie at 42 years of age and three years into menopause to boot. So the chances that my eggs are just as vital are good, but what if they're not? And what if I don't want to wait for "Mr. God Sent" to find out? I'm independent enough, secure enough emotionally and mentally, financially...I might not be able to retire today but I could support a child.

If I ended up on my death bed tomorrow I would regret that I never experienced motherhood more than I would regret having missed out on marriage. So, going at it solo has been what I've been thinking about for a few years now. Lots of women do the whole sperm bank thing, but I don't think that's for me. It's too clinical and I won't even respond to anyone on Yahoo Personals who hasn't posted a picture, so I sure can't pick out a baby daddy without seeing a picture! I just can't see myself with a 5 year old whose expressions aren't mine and wonder, does your dad do that? It would drive me nuts! Getting knocked up isn't for me either. Unless I've had too much to drink and my guards are down (wink, wink.) Adoption is the only thing I can see myself doing in order to become a single mother. It's not completely in my heart just yet so I've been talking to God about it and asking for signs.

First sign....right before school started I was helping Michelle, who was stuck in traffic, and took the twins to school to drop off their school supplies and when we were walking up to the school I heard a little girl say to her mother "there are the twins, I know them". The mom looked over and said, "yes I know the twins" and quickly looked at me and realized that I wasn't Michelle but she said I had to be her sister because I looked just like her (when o' when will people stop saying that?!). We walked into the school and she reminded me that she's the "crazy woman" with 12 kids...her youngest was born when Michelle had the twins. I remembered but she now had several hispanic little kids around her and a baby in her arms (she's white). She then said, did you know I adopted five more? At this time Michelle came up and the mom began to tell her the story of how she adopted 3 siblings, then the biological mom had another baby that she also adopted, and I guess the 5th child she adopted is older and w/out siblings.

Second sign....there's a mother whose adopted son is on the boys (my youngest nephew's) flag football team. She has him, another older adopted son and an adopted baby girl (8 months). And Michelle recently learned she's about to adopt another son. And she's single. I have yet to work up the nerve to talk to her about her experience, to find out what the first steps are in the adoption process and what the fees are (I know international adoptions are expensive because of the travel involved but I would so love a little China doll!) Hopefully before the end of the season I will have a conversation with her about her family.

Third sign, I love to read other people's blogs and there's a website for families that are traveling the country and world with their families (like that family that was on Oprah -- sixintheworld.com) and I was browsing thru the list of families, checking out the blogs that interested me. The two that I looked at? One husband and wife with an adopted daughter, and the other a single 41 yr old mother of two adopted daughters. And then in the time that I began typing this post, and actually posting it, I came across a blog called "Choice Moms" -- women who are choosing single motherhood by choice. This blog author has a book and a buttload of information on the issue. I did a Borders search online for her book and found another book on the same topic...I'll be ordering them both soon.

This can't all be coincidence. They are signs that I'm looking in the right direction, right???

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Book Update

I finished "Enter Sandman" in about 2.5 weeks. Not the one week goal that I planned for but it's a really good "time" for me. I started "The Other Boleyn Girl" the next day and though I'm really liking this book, and don't want to put it down, I've been so busy that I'm not even reading but one or two pages a day. And it's a big book, even in paperback form. So I'll take it to work with me and read during lunch and forego my usual lunch time nap. I have not stepped inside a bookstore since my last blog....but not for lack of wanting to, I just go too busy and my $5 off coupon expired. :-)

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Hi, My name is Lisa and I'm a Bookaholic

There. I said it. I'm a bookaholic. I love to read but more important (or more worrisome, depending on how you look at it) I LOVE TO BUY BOOKS! In preparation of the housekeeper coming today, (yes, I pay to have my house cleaned every two weeks and yes, I clean the house before they get here. Leave me alone.) I decided to put all of the books that are waiting in the wings in one place so that I can easily choose the next oneto read once I'm done with "The Other Woman", by Jane Green, which I should finish by tonight. Once I stacked them all together in one location, I was shocked (sorta) at how many books I have still to read.

Take a look. The top shelf are the books I need to read (and btw, I have two more coming from Amazon.com) and the second shelf are books that I started and for one reason or another have not been able to really get into, thus they are on the backburner.



Now, if I were to blame someone for my habit I'd have to blame my mom. First, because I grew up watching her read her paperback romance novels and saw tons of them stacked under the bathroom sink and second because she's not here to defend herself. Seriously, from my earliest memories of my childhood I've always loved to read. I even took a sheet or blanket and made myself a little reading spot behind my dad's recliner. My own little cave complete with a chair (or was it a pillow?) and a plant that I potted in school..you know the kind..where you bury a seed in a plastic cup and wait for it to grow? But reading is a good thing. I don't smoke and I don't drink often enough for that to take too much of my money so if I'm going to have a "vice" reading is a good one to have. Except that sometimes reading makes me sleepy so it can take me several months to get through a book. Which is why I have that huge stack of books waiting to be read. My friend Grace can zip thru a book lickety-split. I think she read the DaVinci Code in a weekend. That would have taken me a year considering how large the book was.

So my goal for the rest of this year, is to try and get thru one book in a week. And to try and not buy any more books until I read every last one that 's on my shelf. Maybe. I do have to go to Petsmart for more dog food and Borders is just a few stores down.....